Cruised and Bruised: overcoming relationship heartbreaks

Being Cruised

There comes a time in one's life when the need or rather the desire to go into relationship with the opposite sex becomes obvious. This desire do come s
pontaneously as one come of age. It is deeply rooted in our being.
 This desire is however controlled and influenced by both hormonal forces in us as well as the set of experiences we've been exposed to  as we grow up. The desire comes gradually and maybe fanned into flame uncontrollably if care is not taken.
Of a truth, if you've tasted relationship before, you can tell that it can be so dicey at times. It is full of mirage and surprises.
Many people because of their nature and prevailing circumstances could trust so easily and wholeheartedly and more often than not, they are always taken for granted by people who try to play it smart on them.





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The Effect of Temperament

Some people could really have a loving, compassionate, simple and soft heart. They could trust so easily and when they do, it is with the whole of the heart. Once their heart is open to the one they trust and love, they could do just anything no matter how sacrificial it is. Within a short time, they get so committed to the relationship expending emotional physical, financial and otherwise energies for the one they love without even minding the cost. They may even go to the extent of telling their "love" personal secrets they could not even tell their own parents all because of love. They may be judged innocent anyway. But the only crime they committed is that they allow their nature to affect their future.

Your Nature and your Future

After being Bruised

Not until you know your true nature, you can't maximize it to secure a glorious future. Just think about it!
 There is actually no crime with being very compassionate, loving, caring, simple and easy to trust people. But it is a crime to deal with humans without discretion.
 To have a fruitful relationship, you must use your heart as well as your head in balance. You must balance your emotional instincts with emotional intelligence or else, you may allow yourself to be "cruised" and then "bruised" at the end.
 Humans will always be humans. People can be very funny and unpredictable at times. And if you don't have the maturity and sensitivity in dealing with them, your nature may be taken for granted to mortgage your future.
There are some people that have spent  fortunes all for love, and at the end, it is all pains and regrets. Some did not only offer material and financial substances to please their "love", they also offered their body both sexually and otherwise. And many people lost their virginity this way.
 Some where moved by emotions to believe those enticing, but empty sweet promises. They were like "...wow... this is the person I have been waiting for....a God - sent indeed". Little did they know that he/she is a wolf in sheep clothing and it would have been too late before they realized.
 There are some people that went against even their family and friends opinions to hook up with their "sweetheart". Some even let go of their jobs, businesses, academic pursuit all because of the "love" of their life only to be "cruised" and then "bruised" at the end.

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Why again?

A lot has really happened around us beyond fiction. They are true life storie. They happen around us just to teach us a lesson but many hardly learn their lessons. On the contrary however, most people who couldn't learn from other people's experiences became victims themselves. Not only that, some even became victims repeatedly. But the question is, do we really blame it on circumstances? Not at all. If the first one happened by mistake, why again? You see, in life you don't blame circumstances for the are never guilty.
You shouldn't repeatedly be a victim of circumstances. Don't allow yourself to be exploited more than once if at all it happened unavoidable. A sense of responsibility, discretion and caution is all you need to keep safe and keep going in life.

Set your Priorities Right!

Set your priorities right

Misplacement of priority is foundational to becoming a victim of circumstances. Many people do not really know what they want in life and in a man/woman before ever attempting to go into relationship/marriage. Anybody that deceived you into going into a relationship with him/her just to exploit you must have taken advantage of your ignorance of who you are and what you worth and want in life.
If you don't have a scale of preference of what you fundamentally want in a man/woman, anybody can appeal to your emotions.
 Some people look so confused when they are approached by the opposite sex who is in love with them not necessarily because they are not yet due for a relationship/marriage at that time according to their life goals. But it is largely because they don't know exactly what they want in life and in a man/woman as well as when they need such a man/woman in their lives. This confusion may make them to say "yes" when they should have said "no", or say "no" when they should have said "yes". And of course you know they would miss the opportunity which they may live to regret.

Always Think Twice and Think Well

Even after setting your priorities right, you still need to give every man/woman in love with you a good thought before making commitments. Relationship is a thing of the heart and you can't see the heart physically. This makes it dicey at times.
 You may either rust in indecision or wrong decision if you don't know who to trust with your heart. No matter the excitement that may come with any relationship/marriage proposal, always allow everything to pass through the test of time. Indeed, time reveals and heals all things.
 When it is appealing, think twice and think well before giving in. When it is appalling, still think twice and think well before giving up. There are some doors that may appear so inviting but those same can be the doors to your own prisons, and you wouldn't know until you've entered.


Read also: Handling disappointments in relationships

Heal up, Clean up and Seal up

 No doubt, so many souls out there have been cruised and bruised. I could really feel the pains of the hurting generation out there. Their nature and their predicament have been taken advantage of to mess them up. Some have even decided never to love again as a result of what have been done to them. Some that eventually loved again do so with some elements of scepticism especially each time they see something that reminds them of their hurting past. But the truth is, you can still love again even whole heartedly.
First, critically appraise your past to know where you got it wrong and then,  make amends.
 Second, you must forgive yourself and whoever that played a role in bruisin you. Anger and unforgiveness would injure you even the more.
 Having learnt your lessons you have to heal up, clean up your heart and your life of the debris of the past and seal up your heart never to open it to any man/woman that doesn't worth it.


Conclusion

You may become vulnerable by virtue of your nature, predicament and all prevailing circumstances, but not gullible. The knowledge of your weaknesses is one of the greatest strengths you can ever have as it tells you how to protect yourself against being "cruised" and then "bruised".
 Remember, nobody can break the door of your heart to enter unless you open it yourself. People would only hurt you the extent you allow them. Take on the steering of your heart and drive yourself towards marital bliss and nobody would have the right to take you for a ride.
 Never allow yourself to be cruised and bruised!
You worth more than you think!


REMAIN BLESSED!

#emmanueleyafimoni